A White Dress and a Gray Suit

I could write a lot about our wedding day. I probably will- and I have no shame. We’ve been married for awhile now. Really, it’s been a little over a month, but for some reason it feels much longer than that. And on that day a month ago, I cried. More than I thought I would. More than anyone thought I would. But as I was walking down that aisle in the shadows of the two men who have raised me, I’ve never felt more sure of anything. Because through my tears, I saw my person. The one person that I couldn’t imagine my life without smiling back at me- waiting for me. When I hugged my 3 parents, they all told me a variation of “you did it”, “you’re doing good” and “you’re almost there”.

I’m not an overly emotional person. Blame my mom, blame my college major, whatever. I cry irrationally in private (because sometimes we all need a good cry so we can pick up and keep going). But in public, I’m not one to cry. In my choice of work,  I’ve learned how to keep my emotions in check. Keep my non-verbals under control. I used to work with a sexual assault/domestic violence program, and now work with families whose children are 3 years or younger and are getting special education services (some being diagnosed medical conditions, and other being things like speech delays). If I cried every time someone told me something sad, that just wouldn’t work well. I figured I would cry at the ceremony, because that’s the important part where we pledge before our family, friends, and God to commit our life to each other. I imagined I would cry at the first look, but only when Josh started crying (and that’s what happened). I was more surprised than anyone that I spent almost the entire day of October 15th wiping tears from my eyes. I would like to say it was because I’m wearing eyeliner, and I usually don’t wear make up. But the reality is that there was so much love and happiness surrounding Joshua and I that day, that my little body couldn’t handle it and hold it all inside. I will forever be grateful for all the people who traveled to share in our day.

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The ladies who do the organizing at the church told us that our wedding was the most respectful wedding party they’ve had in a long time. We seriously couldn’t have asked for a better wedding party. All of our closest friends, siblings, and cousins came together, in matching outfits, and helped make our day a beautiful one. Before the ceremony, the entire wedding party (with the exception of Josh), and some of the parents were ushered to the “baby cry room”. It’s a room off the back of the church that parents can bring their loud kids to during the services. The room has the sound system hooked up and also has a two way window- so the people inside can see out, but the people on the outside can’t see in. As the time to start was drawing near, the parents were ushered out of the room and the wedding party was told to line up. As the wedding party was walking out of the room, it left me with my former college roommate personal attendant and the flower girl in the room. When the doors were closing, Josh’s best man, Nick, turned around and winked at me. We have always joked that Nick is Josh’s boyfriend and I’m, well, now I’m the wife. Nick is like a brother to Josh and has turned into a brother to me (just like a brother, he is always there when I need him, but sometimes I really just want him to go away :D). I like to think that Nick winking was his way of giving his approval- that we were all about to walk down that aisle, and what was meant to be was going to happen. And with that wink, the tears started forming and Kristin offered me a tissue. I said I didn’t need it. Then Kristin and I stood behind that window and watched Josh seat our parents. Then our moms went up to light our baptism candles. Then all of our closest friends started walking. I rounded the corner out of that room, and there were my dads standing there with tears in their eyes. And I needed that tissue, because I couldn’t handle it anymore. I don’t think I have the words to describe that feeling of those 5 minutes of my life. I don’t think I ever will.

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Marriage. In the several weeks leading up to “the day”, Josh and I talked about how scared we were but how excited we were at the same time. We have some solid examples of marriage in our life, but we also both have divorced parents. And because we both have divorced parents, statistics would tell you that a lifelong marriage might not be in our cards. And you know what, that’s scary. But we’re going to try so hard to make it work, and at this moment in time, we couldn’t imagine our life without each other- and that’s exciting. In between the ceremony and reception, the wedding party hopped on a bus and went to a winery. As we were taking pictures, one of the owners came out with an unlabeled bottle. He said they just bottled the wine that afternoon, so it was probably about the same age as our marriage. He brought out a marker and had all of our wedding party sign the bottle. He told us to put some scotch tape over the seal, and tuck the bottle away for 5 years- because that’s when this kind of wine is best. He suggested we write ourselves a letter to stick with the bottle- with things like what we hope to have accomplished in 5 years and where we want to be. And on October 15, 2021- pull out the bottle and pull out the letter- and drink our wine and talk. We aren’t naive enough to think it’s going to be easy. It might not even be easy getting up to the time where we open the bottle. Because a lot can, and probably will, change in 5 years. We know we are going to have to work hard and choose love. But we made a promise and a vow that we would do just that.

 

Our day was spent at St Peter Catholic Church in Delano, Parley Lake Winery, and Lake Waconia Event Center. Our lovely pictures were taken by Halfway Creek Photography. A Facebook album of all our favorites will be coming in the near future.

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